There are numerous events that occur in all our lives and some of these can be more traumatic than others and change our lives.
How do we bounce back and manage our lives and mental well-being?
Some of these events could include: the loss of a job, loss of a loved one, a motor accident, serious illness, stress at work, broken relationship etc. just doing life.
Many people react to such circumstances with a flood of strong emotions and a sense of fear or uncertainty. Yet people generally adapt well over time to life-changing situations and stressful conditions.
What enables them to do so? It involves resilience, an ongoing process that requires time and effort and engages people in taking a number of steps.
What is Resilience?
Resilience is the process of adapting well in the face of adversity, trauma, tragedy, threats or significant sources of stressors. It means “bouncing back” from difficult experiences.
Being resilient does not mean that a person does not experience difficulty or distress. In fact, the road to resilience is likely to involve considerable emotional distress.
Resilience involves behaviours, thoughts and actions that can be learned and developed in anyone.
A combination of factors contributes to resilience. Relationships that create love and trust, provide role models, and offer encouragement and reassurance help bolster a person’s resilience.
Resilience is not a trait that people either have or do not have. It involves behaviors, thoughts and actions that can be learned and developed in anyone.
Several additional factors are associated with resilience, including:
- making realistic plans
- taking steps to carry them out.
- having a positive view of yourself
- having confidence in your strengths and abilities.
- using skills in communication and problem solving.
- the capacity to manage strong feelings and impulses.
How To Build Resilience
The process of building resilience is a personal one as people do not all react to traumatic and life stressing events. It is not an all for one solution that can merely be applied what works for you may not work for me as an example.
Avoid seeing the crisis as insurmountable – Look beyond the present and see how the future can be different. Focus on the positive aspects and see yourself as being that person who is coping well.
Change is part of life embrace it – Change is inevitable so take care not to fight it but to embrace it. See the potential of what change can bring. Your life up to this point has been one of constant change. Focus on what you can alter and within your capabilities.
Develop SMART goals – S.M.A.R.T goals are – Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and Time bound. Take small steps in setting these goals and achieving them.
Take action – avoid ignoring the problem or issue, take a decisive step to make a change, get help, talk to a friend, GP or us. Apply composure to regulate your emotions when big or small things happen.
Check your relationships – sometimes it is necessary to avoid or remove some relationships that are not productive, two way or contributory. Once you have resilience established you will be able to assist the relationships that are needy.
Apply some perspective – apply a process of – How can I see this situation differently? – Try and see yourself as you would like to be rather than worrying about where you are. Pay attention to your own needs and feelings. Engage in activities that you enjoy and find relaxing. Exercise regularly. Taking care of yourself helps to keep your mind and body primed to deal with situations that require resilience.
Find what works for you.
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